New Project

I am so excited at the prospect of taking up a course at school which is basically an 'extended study'. You get to choose any subject field you want to research with the aim of creating an 'artifact', an essay about the research and process and finally a presentation in front of an audience. I am currently think of doing this course with the aim of creating a really really tiny collection of clothes... my more specific area or research is yet to be decided but I'm reading loads of books at the moment and it's getting me really excited.

In other news I finished Lady Chatterley's Lover by D.H.Lawrence and I have to say it is just amazing and so insightful and enlightening to the world and human relationships I suppose. I then finished Catcher In The Rye really quickly for me because I am so bored of doing anything else and at first I was thinking it was really 'dumb'; I thought if it's written in the voice of an idiot how is it going to be any good but it really drags you in and you fall in love with the character over time. Now I have started the Virgin Suicides and I have to say it is hard going so far because I watched the film ages ago and so because the story is so different and I already have an image which was given to me of how the characters all look I am just not taking it in as it was indented that I do which seriously pisses me off, but oh well... I'm really interested to see how it's written anyway as it's supposed to be the 'catcher in the rye of it's time' or something like that.

Inspiration from Yves Saint Laurent

The androgynous trouser suit, photographed by Helmut Newton.

A sketch

Photography Update

So I have started a new topic for a new year in Photography. The given title I chose was 'Portrait - Action - Body' which is obviously quite open and general. I studied Billingham, Arbus, Muybridge, Testino and Penn because I got fully in to it last night and was up late just researching them all. I want to take sequential shots of people's faces with very minute differences, just to bring the pictures to add a sense of life in the stillness. Taking inspiration from Penn and Arbus who shot stills, but of subjects who naturally create a story and questions, it is more than just a moment in time, it is a past and present and a future! Here are some of my favourites that I found:

Shubang.

A photo I love

A photo I took

Whore In Picadilly

So I went around to Sophie's after school. Did some shit and she took these photos of me! I also helped her make a flickr account, so add her as a contact if you want to see what she posts next, flickr.com/whoreinpicadilly. Yeah it was really cool, this is the Sophie I have a picture of below and I am going to London with and I am SO EXCITED AND I WILL TALK ABOUT IT IN EVERY BLOG POST UNTIL I GO! And then I'll post 100 whilst I'm there about how good it is!
I have just been hanging out in my room listening to music and getting started on my photography which I find myself surprisingly willing to do! Hopefully making some plans for this weekend!

Music festival

So basically Lucy came around to mine on saturday and we got ready to go out. I had made this backless black tshirt for her a while ago, I then just stitched in a strap to hold it up around the shoulders. I have posted this on my fashionkillz blog but it's the only picture I took all weekend as an illustration... unless someone else took one... I don't know.

The story: We went to Nicole's house and then I drank a whole bottle of red wine, then we went to a pub in town to have a cigarette and a band was playing. We were wandering back and forth between the pub and the main stage, then I got really depressed and felt really trapped and then went back to Lucy's house to sleep. I had some strange dream that I cannot remember at all and I just woke up to the repeated, dreamy thought 'REMEMBER WHERE YOU ARE, REMEMBER WHERE YOU ARE'; which was really weird. Then me and Lucy went back in to town as we were both working, I had a coffee then worked a full day in the shop. Then went out after for a beer with Harriet. Then headed up to see Lucy again who was now at someone elses house a bit up the hill from town and the police basically did a 'random' bag check and took this bottle off of me and I was so pissed off and angry, because it was such an unlucky circumstance that they picked me, that all I could do was cry. Then went back to Nicoles, and smoked loads to try and calm down. Ruined the rest of the night, watched my dad play with his band, then went home, watched family guy and went to bed!!!!!
I am really just not a 'going out' kind of guy, I hate it, I don't find it relaxing at all. It is so much effort and no one really likes me, and I don't really like any one so I end up just giving everyone really dirty looks and feeling trapped in by gangs of failures.
BLAH.

A Strong Sense of Nothing

Soft light

Soft sheet

Body heat

The air is still, silent resistance.

Sharp song sung,

      Lost in the heavy drifting clouds above,

Heavy eyes, resigned tongue.

A car stirs

and dies

A brave bird hides.

Inspired by the rhythm of bird song and nature. About the feeling of growing tension and atmospheric pressure created by absence of all things.

Today again I just hung out and drew and wrote and lazed about on tumblr. I had this empty frame, and because I have no friends, hence no picture of me plus friends, I had no pictures to put in it so I made this. Very Damien Hirst I suppose:

The paper behind it looks awful in this photograph for some reason...
I AM GOING INSANE WITH NOTHING TO DO. Something tomorrow!!!! PLEASE!

Until then I leave you!

And follow my dailybooth.

When All is Gone

We stand like soldiers

In the fleeting mist of war

Through sun-shocked eyes

The pathways blend, a single plain.

Nothingness a vivid vacuum

Slipping upwards, outwards

When all is gone?

This is a poem I wrote today, about the feeling I felt yesterday when I finished all of my exams for this year. Everything fleeting or being sucked away like a vacuum and not really knowing what to do.
So today I am just hanging around in some sweats and a this black tshirt that I cut the neck out of, but it's really stretched and keeps slipping over my shoulder, all seductively!!! So this weekend will hopefully be good, friday - pool party, saturday - music festival, sunday - just hanging with some alcoholic beverage! Maybe photos, but I'm not really in to taking photos when I am out it's really boring!!

Chemistry exam tomorrow!

and instead of revising I choose to fill my journal with biro sketches of chopped up torsos. Today I have been desperately tyring to stay focused, but every time I look down at my revision guid something, anything, reminds me of something else and I completely drift off... or I have a coffee break... or I go on youtube... or I play some Joy Division. Looking through my Dad's record collection it is actually surprising how decent the music is- I have some Stones, The Cure, Grance Jones etc. to keep me going for a while. I feel like if I save up some money I might go to the record shop or to garage sales to start my own collection.

Beach with Lucy

Me and Lucy went to the beach today. It is the first day I have met up with anyone in two weeks and it was lovely really. I probably pissed her off because I took my journal to show her a dress I designed around her and we were supposed to do some chem revision (I know) and I kept drawing her. This was originally supposed to be a shaded drawing of her but turned in to an abstract caricature because it totally went wrong but I think it's quite cool as it is. Writing this the day after I can tell you that I have sun burn and it is so horrid. I am never stepping out side of the house again with out coating myself in sun cream basically.
I wore an unbuttoned green stripe shirt from H&M and some new short shorts from Jack Wills which I don't think I will ever take off. Lucy is wearing her one piece (it joins up at the front) but I can't remember where she said it was from.

Sophie

This is a photograph I took of my friend Sophie, who I am going to London with for a week in summer. So excited!!

Morning

These were originally for a project called invasion of privacy, but I am shit at following through with things like that!

Exeter

These are from the first roll of film I ever developed and printed myself, I still think they are quite good, especially for first attempts.

This side of the blues

Self Portrait, with the stillness of a painting.